don’t tell me my business devil woman
when we see You, we find strength to face the day
in Your presence, all our fears are washed away
i am constantly reminded that failure is a possibilty. the last thing i want to do is have to leave the the city broke and broken. i want my stay there to be worth my while as well as the people i come into contact with there. i want to make a difference. then the doubt sets in.
what do i have to offer?
what can i do for a city as massive as new york?
i am nothing but a mere single person in the midst of a culture far above me.
what if i am back home after a couple months? will people look down on me? say i’m not good enough?
am i good enough?
this just a small glimpse into my daily thought patterns as of lately and i hate it.
it always starts out as excitement, then nervousness, then doubt, and ended with sadness. i believe that if i do not change my thought patterns, then i will be doomed to failure. i need to have faith that there is a plan for me, that everything happens for a reason. i mean, it does, right?
hopefully i will find it there.
on a lighter note, one of my bff’s from highschool married his gf of like 9 years. no lie, they’ve been dating since 8th grade. craziness. so, congrats to greg and lindsey. it was good to be home and hang with the old homies. i know that our time together is beginning to wear thin. geez, im old. people are going off to become doctors, goto grad school, get married, or move to washington (state) and work. no one else is going out and doing crzy jive like me. why am i the odd one? (im, again, asking myself those questions in my head right now… sweet.)
i suppose i will be able to answer those question later; i’m thinking sometime around august 11th (ps, thats my estimated move in date 🙂 ).
blahblahblah 
hey i havent seen you in about four years, but your fb status said new blogs, so i got nosy. i completely understand all of your worries and self doubts. im currently planning a benefit concert in auburn because its something i wanted to do. ive been told no at least five different times and gotten them to turn around and stand behind me, and i started with just an idea and now i have the american cancer society behind me, auburn university marketing association, the dean of students, the director of student development, and numerous others behind me. i know how daunting it can be to want to do something great, and not know where to start and doubt yourself as you ponder your life and how insignificant you are in the grand scheme of things. but just remember that at one point, all of the greatest people in the world started as just one insignificant person. if you want to be significant, you will be. find your passion, and dont take no for an answer. i hope youre enjoying new york and dont let yourself knock you down too much – there are a lot of people behind you 🙂
gena (yeah, that chick from keller way back in the day :))
gena said this on September 5, 2008 at 8:25 pm |